ARE 3 YEAR OLDS RACISTS?

From the age of 8 months gg started to walk on her toes rather than her feet and amazes everyone with her balance and ability. So in June we enrolled her into a ballet school which she truely loves. There are two teachers in her class; a main teacher and a helper. gg has also had 2 substitutes teachers in the past, and all have commented how well her feet point and how good her balance is. The children in gg's class started the previous September so gg was the new girl starting in June. gg is the only bi-racial girl in her class. There is one Somali girl and the rest are either vanilla English or vanilla French. We didn't think of any problems with gg being the only mixed race child in the class. We sat in for gg's first lesson, but left the room half way through her second lesson to settle her in. We noticed that all the girls had their own little groups except the Somali girl who sat on her own, and gg. We knew gg wouldn't be talking and playing with the girls because they didn't know her and this was her first lesson, but it bothered me that the only child that had no one to sit next to or had a partner all the time was the Somali girl. My fiance said to me "maybe it's because she is chocolate and the other children are not used to socialising with kids from other races." I said to him "kids don't care about colour they just like to play with each other.". He said, "yeah probably" and we left it at that. The next week we watched gg in her class for half her lesson and snuck out, but whilst we were there the Somali girl sat next to gg and held her hand.  gg looked at her and smiled and for the first time in two lessons I saw the Somali girl smile. A few weeks later the parents got to stay and watch the class. Each child had to take it in turns to go across the room like a butterfly and finish in 2nd position (can't remember the ballet term) and sit by the wall and wait for everyone to have a go. gg was second and sat next to one of the French girls. The French girl moved away, gg moved closer, the girl moved further away. gg thought she would try sitting next to another girl and again she moved away from her and turned her back to her. My eyes started to well up with tears. How could these little girls be so mean to my innocent little girl? It hurt me so much, I just wanted to go and give her a hug and get her out of this horrible situation. Lucky though the teacher moved them on to something else so gg was engrossed in the next activity, and the girls reaction didn't seem to have bothered her. gg's daddy said it is a good way for gg to learn that not everyone is going to want to play with her or be her friend, and she can learn this before she goes to school so she won't feel hurt or be surprised if she has to encounter this when she is older. On our way home we told gg that she shouldn't play or talk with the other children in ballet because she is not there to play, she is there to learn to dance like a ballerina, and to dance like a ballerina she has to listen to the teacher. I said this to her hoping she would feel comfort if she felt hurt by the girls reaction to her attempt at friendship. It would also hopefully act as a protection in the future if she got rejected by those girls again. The next week I stood and watched through the window and a new vanilla girl started. This time the girls that rejected gg's friendship went straight over to the new girl and welcomed her into their group with open arms. I felt so hurt for my little gg.Why did they want the new girl in their group and not gg?

After the summer holidays gg went back to her ballet class. This time though her class members were not all the same. The Somali girl had been moved to the next class up because of her age, and so did a few of the other girls. A few new girls had started in gg's class. Before gg went in to her class we told her "remember don't talk to the children or play. Sit and listen and when the teacher asks you a question answer her". gg said "ok mummy" and went in excitedly. None of this has seemed to phase gg at all because she is always first to answer any questions and her ballet skills are very advanced for her age.

I was in two minds about what I had told her. Was I in the wrong for telling my child to tone down her bubbly talkative character in an attempt to protect her from getting hurt and rejected, or should I have left her to be her bubbly talkative self and get rejected to teach her how cruel people can be, and build up her tolerance and risk her going into her shell?
At her last ballet class the teacher came out to all the parents and said "I know the children are young and it is a hot day but can parents talk to their children and tell them to listen to the teacher" As each child came out one by one each parent asked if their child had been naughty. I asked her if gg was naughty and she said to me happily "gg was good as always". I gave gg a big hug and as we walked out the mum of the girl that rejected gg's friendship was told her daughter was really naughty and wasn't listening at all and was messing about with her friend (the other girl that rejected gg). I felt smug as gg and I went downstairs, and I whispered into gg's ear "see the naughty girls that keep talking and playing got told off by the teacher and now their mum and dad got told off too because they didn't tell them to stop talking". gg then said to me "I didn't talk and be naughty did I mummy? I only talk to the teacher". I said to her "yes agapi mou the teacher said you were very good.". I was happy that I went with my motherly instincts and chose the protective approach because gg is improving with her ballet every week, she is always excited to go every week, every time I see her in her class she always has a smile on her face and she is always first to answer any of the teachers questions, like when the teacher asked "who can tell me what they had for breakfast this morning?", gg put her had up and said "me me!". Then said "chicken livers, souvla and rice" lol (",)

Colour coincident or not, the only 2 non-vanilla kids had no one but each other, they reached out for friendship and got rejected every time. You could say it was because gg was new and the Somali girl may have been horrible to the other children so no one liked her, but, why did they befriend a new vanilla girl and not a new caramel girl? If we were at work and we were the only one of a different race and didn't get treated as everyone else we would complain that we were facing racism, but because these children are 3 years old we are skeptical of their actions and say they are only kids. gg plays with anyone no matter what their race is, and the only time gg will not play with someone is if they are mean or not sharing with her, which is more than a good enough reason. But the girls resilience is admirable because both girls still reach out to others to socialise and know who they shouldn't bother with. I'm still left confused and curious as to why the vanilla girls left the caramel and chocolate girl out of their circle and welcomed a new vanilla child.

So why have these girls discriminated against her? Was it because gg is caramel and not vanilla like them? Or were they jealous that gg kept getting praised by her exceptional ballet skills? I didn't think 3 year old children even knew about this sort of thing let alone act in those kind of ways. I just hope there was another reason for not befriending them and it isn't to do with race or jealously because then what hope does our future society have?

Have you or your child or anyone you know had to face racism or a similar situation? If so how have you dealt with it?